


What Am I To You?

by jimmoriartyisthebestboss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 12:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16640336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimmoriartyisthebestboss/pseuds/jimmoriartyisthebestboss
Summary: Bucky Barnes should be on the run. With HYDRA gone and Bucky's memories coming back fragmented, he should be on the run from the government. Except he finds himself at the Smithsonian every day, reading his own life story and watching Steve Rogers from the balcony when Steve comes as well. Bucky knows he should run but he can't resist one last look at Steve.





	What Am I To You?

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [我是你的谁？](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649524) by [flyingmax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingmax/pseuds/flyingmax)



> Hello all!
> 
> As always, the title is from a song and it's from Intro: What Am I To You by BTS. I thought that the title was appropriate for this particular work.
> 
> This is also based off a Stucky picture I saw on Pinterest which you can find [ here.](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/315111305174334172/) I was wanting to write something Stucky related and this really struck me when I was going through my Stucky board. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Update!  
> 
> 
> There is now a Chinese translation of my story! It was done by the wonderful flyingmax who you can find [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingmax/pseuds/flyingmax) You can find the Chinese translation [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649524).

Bucky Barnes should be on the run from the government. He should be on the first flight out of Washington D.C. and off to a foreign country to stay down low. It was the plan that had quickly formulated in his head once he had somewhat set straight who he was in his head. He could feel his brain still pulling for the memories and the things from his life. Several times over the last few days he had gone to that exhibit for Captain America to look at the section about himself and to remember.

He remembered bits of his previous life. Mostly he remembered Steve. The same Steve who they said was Captain America but still stayed Steve in his head. He remembered a little punk who always got his ass kicked because he stood up to the bullies rather than running away. He remembers a headstrong man who refused to backdown. Most of his memories are of torture, of killings but those ones of Steve are precious, and he holds to them.

It was in those visits he had learned that Steve visited too. Sometimes Bucky would stay around to look at the other parts of Steve’s life, one particular afternoon stumbling into the screening of the short movie featuring Peggy. He remembered Peggy. She was good to Steve.

Bucky had found himself going upstairs, leaning against the railings when the crowds got a bit too big. It had been there, when he turned to look at the crowd of people gawking at the size Steve used to be that he saw him. Steve had gone up to the section about Bucky and stood there, staring at it. People surged around him, somehow not realizing that this was the man they had come to see an exhibit on. It was amazing what a baseball cap and normal clothes does to hide a person amongst a crowd.

Several times, Bucky had come back to the exhibit to just watch Steve look at the sign. This was his final time that he was going to go before running. Bucky told himself that he would run right after this, but he had to see Steve one more time just in case he never got to again. The memories come back in flashes and some nights he had been left breathless and in tears over the pain. The worst was when he remembered that he promised himself that he would never hit Steve, never hurt him. He had done that tenfold and it had been enough to almost break Bucky.

So, Bucky stood here now, watching as Steve slipped through the crowd to come to stand in front of the picture of Bucky. It had been so long since Bucky had short hair that he didn’t worry as much about people recognizing him, so he had slipped his hood down. Now he leans forward, arms braced on the railing and just looks. Their lives had been constant war. Bucky hadn’t gotten time to see and learn about the new Steve Rogers after he was rescued. They were thrown back into the fray and told to fight.

Bucky studies him as he stands stock still. The Steve he remembered had gotten taller and stronger, but this Steve seemed to bow. Steve seemed to sag under the weight of the world on his shoulders and round in on himself. Bucky wishes he could yell at him, tell him that slouching in such a way would hurt his back. His back which would never hurt again. Bucky remembered the ailments, the things he did to try to keep Steve alive. It was, after all, his final promise to Steve’s ma. He can’t help but give a small, sad smile at the punk who had changed his life, who had taught him love. Love, what a strange word to use now. He knows he loves Steve in a romantic way but it’s hard to love when the memories are fragmented, jumbled.

Steve seems to say something, his mouth moving but Bucky is unable to read the words. Steve reaches out and touches the board before taking a step back. When Steve turns, Bucky swears that Steve’s eyes catch on him in the upper floor. As swiftly as he can, Bucky turns and walks away from the balcony. He walks through the crowds and leaves the building. It’s safer for Steve if he leaves. Steve can finally be safe.

* * *

Steve Roger’s can’t believe his eyes when he turns and beholds Bucky Barnes up on the balcony. Part of him wants to shove people out of the way to chase him as he turns and walks away. Something burns in Steve to grab him, to pull him close and not let him leave. Instead Steve lets Bucky leave. No matter the cost, the pain, Steve Rogers would find and protect Bucky Barnes again.


End file.
